The first in a series of imagined islands, far from the island of Manhattan, where certain people who deserve to be separated from general humanity shall be sent. One-way airfare, sunglasses, and SPF 30 are provided. As well, special requests can be submitted and will be considered on a case-by-case basis.
Investment Banker Island
A safe zone away from anyone creative, sensitive and/or interesting. IBI will be covered with empty buildings, companies, promises all waiting for the "right person." No female investment bankers will be present, as any who haven't been completely humiliated, patronized and/or harrassed by male investment bankers are granted universal amnesty, if, in fact, they can be located, which, as of this writing, they can't. Young females will be occasionally flown in to a special pavilion where they will be raped and subjected to stories about college. Steak frites will be plentiful and Hummers (and hummers!) will abound. No apartments or houses will be available for rental, only PURCHASE. And, of course, there will be absolutely no jails. Only Bennigans. Miles and miles of Bennigans, where happy hour will be as eternal as the thick air of unrepentance.