Adeskte fidelis.

In the NB's never-ceasing desire to be not entirely useless, we wanted to post a link to office party etiquette to help you behave at the most mind-numbingly awkward event of the year. We found plenty of useful ones, but the one we chose was About.com's because, well, in keeping true to the general uselessness of supposedly totally useful About.com, its entry on office party etiquette is pretty hilariously useless. (Yeah, the part about us wanting this site to be not entirely useless was pretty also pretty hilariously useless.)

Here's why:

First of all, it's written by this guy.

Second of all, this: "Watch what you drink. Keep reminding yourself that this is a business event first and a party second. I drink Vodka Tonics, but at the holiday party, I have them without the vodka. No one knows but me. After all, there's plenty of time to drink after the party."

That's the most stupidest thing we've ever heard. The boss isn't tasting your drink at the holiday party; he's watching how much you drink. So, you might as well get liquored up if you're gonna hold something clear and fizzy in your hand all night. Duh. Oh, and we really don't trust someone talking to us about alcohol who doesn't know that "vodka tonic" is not a proper noun.

Third of all, we ADORE this helpful tip: "If you drive drunk, you may kill yourself or someone else."

Which really nicely sums up their links for suggested office holiday party-etiquette reading:

Happy office holidays, people!

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