The nominations for the 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards (you know, the fun Oscars) were announced today. In helpful list form, with minimal commentary, they are, filmwise...
Best Motion Picture
We are proud to say we haven't seen any of these, though we actually do want to see The Queen. Well, we loves some Mirren!
Best Motion Picture -- Musical or Comedy
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
The Devil Wears Prada
Little Miss Sunshine
Thank You For Smoking
We are proud to say we haven't seen any of these, either.
Clint Eastwood - Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood - Letters from Iwo Jima
Stephen Frears - The Queen
Alejandro González Iñárritu - Babel
Martin Scorsese - The Departed
Apparently Clint Eastwood is so powerful, he's become two people. Scorsese always gets shown up. Poor thing.
Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Departed
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland
Well, at least Scorsese has the power to make someone else two people. That's cool.
Penelope Cruz - Volver
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Sherrybaby
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Kate Winslet - Little Children
Can we just give Judi D. a piece of glowing gold that stands for every award ever to be given?
Best Actor -- Musical or Comedy
Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Aaron Eckhart - Thank You For Smoking
Chiwetel Ejiofor - Kinky Boots
Will Ferrell - Stranger Than Fiction
Hmmm. Oh! We get it. If you unscramble "Chiwetel Ejiofor," you get "Judi Dench." Makes sense. But good for Penelope. May she never make another English-speaking movie again.
Best Actress -- Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening - Running with Scissors
Toni Collette - Little Miss Sunshine
Beyonce Knowles - Dreamgirls
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Renee Zellweger - Miss Potter
Be-who? Be-what? Be-really? Fortunately, Toni Collette's there, which always makes everything OK.
Best Supporting Actor
Ben Affleck - Hollywoodland
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson - The Departed
Brad Pitt - Babel
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed
Eh. We'd be happier for Murphy if he wasn't prone to beating up trannies.
Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Hudson- Dreamgirls
Adriana Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Emily Blunt - The Devil Wears Prada
Kikuchi Rinko - Babel
Blanchett for that piece of crap?!? Has anyone in the Hollywood Foreign Press actually seen that movie? We thought not.
Notes on a Scandal
Again, we promise you no one in the HFP saw Notes on a Scandal. Or at least got the English translation.
Best Animated Feature
We hate cartoons. HATE.
Best Foreign Language Film
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Lives of Others
Can everyone please refer to Apocalypto as "Apocalypso" from now on? No specific reason. It's just funnier. Thanx.
Best Original Score
The Painted Veil
The Da Vinci Code
Score for the score for The Fountain. It's beautiful. You should illegally download it immediately.
Best Original Song
Listen - Dreamgirls
Never Gonna Break My Faith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Bobby - Happy Feet
And there they are. The Golden Globe film nominations. Special kudos to Emilio Estevez for having a foreign-sounding name to trick the HFP into nominating the piece of crap we've unequivocally heard is Bobby. Again, we were fortunate enough not to have actually seen it.
We'll try to get the TV noms to you momentarily. Unless we're distracted. Fingers crossed...