Allow us to explain.

No, we're not dead, nor have we forgotten about you. We're between jobs and enjoying the glorious time off. How do we feel exactly? Kind of like this...


Lil Spizzy.

It's not truly spring in New York City until banners announcing Spiderman Week NYC pop up on lampposts all around Washington Square. After all, April showers do bring May movie tie-ins! We visited the official SWNYC Web site to find out more information about what exactly we would not be attending and were almost finished when we spotted this:

Sunday Only

The Apollo will host the Spider-Man Week in NYC closing-night celebration. Urban poets from the five boroughs will compose original raps about Spider-Man and his many adventures. The winner takes home a Sony Bravia™ TV.

Obviously, this little nugget made us reconsider our whole non-attendance plan. "Urban poets" composing original raps about Spider-Man and his many adventures?!?! Um, color us there! Well, color us possibly there. Honestly, there's a 2% chance we'll go to that. Fine. 1%. Er...someone's going to film it and put it on YouTube, right? Because, really—we'd hate to miss something like that.



Reality check.

OK. We just have to say that this "cycle" of Top Model is proving to be one of the best evah, and the reason for that can be summed up in one word:


Oh, and Whitelle. And NeNe, Moe, Nata, etc. Dionne was already becoming our most fave, and "Wholahay" obviously sealed the deal. And Tyra's Wholahay rechristening of "Brown" made us fall off our chairs and knock over all 36 half-empty champagne bottles on our coffee table*. And that wasn't even taking into account Brittany's Pippi-Longstocking-on-meth weave or Melrose's cameo as "name consultant."

Nice work, Ken Mok. Nice work, indeed.

And, as we may have mentioned earlier this year, we weren't planning on watching American Idol, but we most certainly are. Sanjaya was fun for a few weeks, and, of course, we are still voting for him. We think it's very unfair that the judges don't even critique him anymore—they're the ones who put him there, after all. For shame, Paula, Randy and Simon.

No, now we're absolutely enthralled because we loves some Chris and Blake. Those boys are somethin' special! The secret to keeping the love for them alive is to turn the channel when each sings, talks or moves. Simple! Oh, and also to join the Blake fan club. So, how 'bout you follow our lead and be a Blaker Girl, too?

And of you have no idea what any of the above means, what exactly are you doing with your life?

*We don't have a coffee table. We live alone in NYC. We don't have any table.