First up (thanks to April Winchell), we have this:
Begley's Best. Begley's Best is a line of housecleaning supplies created by none other than Mr. Ed Begley, Jr. himself. Of course it is! What makes Begley's Best the...well...best? It's completely non-toxic, non-caustic, biodegradable, child-safe and, most importantly, vegan, meaning it's apparently OK for even the strictest herbivore to eat. Begley's Best is only available online or in California at these fine stores.
After your house is as clean as the TV version of Parenthood, you may need to, well, use the facilities. But, ladies, let's be honest here—sitting down to do a simple #1 can take SO MUCH time. Fret no more. We are proud to bring you this...
Qu'est-ce que c'est? you may have asked yourself.
Why, it's My SweetPee.
No. Not My SweetPea.
We don't quite know how it works, nor do we plan to by the time we're done
"While hiking, an otherwise awful experience behind a tree was avoided. It worked well for me".
See? Even lesbians use it. And they've been peeing standing up since god knows when.
And, best of all, should you make a little mess while getting the hang of your new My SweetPee, thank god you have a supply of this...
Unless, of course, you've eaten it all, you greedy vegan.