Diary of a mad actress.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. In the mid 1980s, James Kirkwood, one of the book-writers of the musical A Chorus Line, wrote a play called Legends!, a comedy about two aging film legends reunited to help finance a producer's movie. The parts were played by Carol Channing and Mary Martin, and after the play flopped out of town, Kirkwood wrote a book, Diary of a Mad Playwright, chronicling the backstage antics of the two ladies. (The book, though about as well-written as Legends!, is still definitely worth reading if only to get a picture of two legendary old broads misbehaving.)

This year, Joan Collins and Linda Evans starred in a touring revival of the play. Though Kirkwood passed away in 1989, Collins apparently took it upon herself to keep her own backstage diary of the current production, which the UK's Daily Mail has so graciously printed excerpts of here. We could post the Linda-Evans-effacing highlights, but that would mean you might not read the other parts, which are also Linda-Evans-effacing highlights. Rather, pour yourself a flute of champagne, click on the above link, put on your best Alexis Carrington voice and read aloud the scintillating, saucy ramblings of a self-regarded legend.