Don't worry about the lack of walls! Concentrate on the floor!

Our hearts go out to Rosie O'Donnell, who's apparently been deeply affected by Wilma. As she once said on a bus with her sister, "I HATE HURCANES BLARJHGRAGHRGHRGAGH!!!!!!!!!!" Love the socks and shoes, by the way.

It must have flu.

We'll take a break from this wholly exciting day of weather posts to bring you Getty Images' heartwarming "A Look Back at the Flu." Tender pictures include "Germ Trap," "Small black disc with drug protects cell" and "Carbolic Cure." As the Avian Flu gets closer and closer to killing you, take a moment to reminisce about the good, old days of flu. Viruses just ain't what they used to be.

We have picture to prove it.

Please enjoy the Palm Beach Post's online Wilma photo gallery, a slide show which consists of two pictures, one of which doesn't work.

Black tent down! Black tent down!

Oh, Wilm, we're beginning to doubt you. You've not yet been able to cancel Fantasy Fest, and the frickin' Swap Shop is still standing??? Dude. That shit's basically made of glue and cardboard. Oh well, at least the completely depressing circus act won't have to find a new home. Huzzah.

Yes, you hurri-CAN.

Well, here's the Mormon contribution to the Weather Channel's request for pictures of readers' experiences with Wilma...

Arms off the beads, whore.

Um, yeah, Wilma? Um, the gays don't like when you fuck with excuses for them to dress in drag and throw wet sparkly shit at each other. Just sayin'...

Alpha bits.

Do not ever let it be said that the NB does not provide you with educational resources. Now, whilst reading today's news, you may have learned that tropical storm Alpha has claimed some lives in Haiti. ALPHA? you may have said to yourself (after you questioned the viability of anyone actually still being alive in Haiti). That sure doesn't sound like anyone's name! Well, it's not. It's the first letter of the Greek alphabet. You see, there are only six lists of names for each of the three hurrican-prone regions. The lists are used in rotation every six years. The only time a name is changed is when a hurricane proves to be destructive and deadly. So, you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll never have to deal with another Katrina again, unless you came to the god-awful Halloween party we attended Saturday night, at which we dressed up as Katrina. Never mind. This year, Wilma was the last name on the list in use. Because there are only six lists, once the year's list is complete (which, by the by, has never happened before right now), rather than use the list prepared for next season, the Greek alphabet is employed. Thus, tropical storm Alpha is now making its way through the Caribbean. Beta will be next, followed by Delta, Gamma etc. Interesting, no? Well, Socrates would be proud.

Anyway, here's FEMA's kid's Web site's (come on—it's hilarious AND easy to read) explanation of the whole hurricane naming business. And here's About.com's summary, only because it mentions the Greek crap and a lesbian wrote it.

WIIIILMAAAAAAAAAAA!

Easily our favorite pic and caption regarding hurricane Wilma's aftermath comes from yesterday afternoon's edition of CNN.com:

The color of the sky is gray as I can see through the blinds.

People, the Great Nor'easter of '05® is bearing down upon us right now. People are blowing by the window and dogs are being walked with those crazy umbrella leashes. We have NO IDEA where they got those. Anyway, today, should we talk about the weather? Hi...hi, hi. Should we talk about the government? No...no, no. OK—weather it is!

Just White, Just Right, #9.

This response is from 13-year-old Locust Gaede.

PLEEZ HELP I AM IN THE BASMENT AND HAV BEEN SINCE MY HAIR TURNED BROWN AND I REFUSD TO DRESS AS VICKY WEAVER 2 HALOWEENS AGO THERE ARE 3 OF US!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT LIKE THE OTHERS I AM NOT LIKE THE OTHERS.

OH.

OH.

I HAV TO GO. PLEEZ HEL....................

Just White, Just Right, #8.

This response is from four-year-old Maddox Jolie.

I think Linx and Lam are bad and they shuld lik evrybudy. My momy says to lik evrybudy and to adop them. Linx and Lam do not. When I saw them in Norlins with momy for Katrena they only huged wite kids. There wer only 3 wite kids there.

Evrbudy shuld love evrybudy.

Thank u,
M to the a to the double d

Just White, Just Right, #7.

This is from 16-year-old John Reston.

dude, lynx is a major slut and lamb's basically retarded. i'm not saying how i know but i know.

peace - john

Just White, Just Right, #6.

This response is from 74-year-old Candace Colliers.

I know you're probably surprised that such an old lady can read the blogs and use the e-mail, but I'm no fool. Speaking of surprises, imagine my surprise when my retirement community had a trip to the county fair a few months ago and these adorable twins got onstage and began to sing. Well, it seemed truly special. Now, they didn't necessarily play their instruments well or even sing on key, but it was the effort that counted. However, when they began to sing about how "rad Hitler was" and how "S.S. stands for Super Solution," I got a bit suspect. And even though I'm an old lady, my hearing aid misses nothing. NOTHING. Well, as they continued to sing about this trash, people began to boo and hiss. I joined! Of course I did. After a few minutes of this, we drowned those two little white witches out. They began to stare at us in a daze. One of them began to spit and the other started kicking the air. The one with with fiddle—the kicking one—also began to swing her bow wildly. We got louder until the two mini-Goebbels left the stage. We couldn't believe what had happened! These were somebody's children, somebody's grandchildren! Let me tell you, if my grandkids turned out to be twin racists, I would possibly never speak to them again, and it's not just because I think twins themselves are the work of the devil. There's no reason for such pretty young girls to be spouting such vitriol! Shame on them! Shame, shame, shame!

Love,
Candace Colliers

Just White, Just Right, #5.

This response is from 56-year-old Rolf Lundgrist.

Misses Lynx and Lamb Gaede are both fine and talented young ladies. They are lucky to have a mother who has made them choose to share their devotion to the Aryan race via song. I am proud to support them and their cause, and I will be as long as they continue to spread the musical word of love, peace and unity to their white brothers and sisters throughout this country.

Sieg heil,
Rolf Lundgrist
Executive Director and Comptroller of Aryans 4 Aryans
[ADDRESS REDACTED]

Just White, Just Right, #4.

This response is from 44-year-old African-American Jason Sanders.

One of those little racist bitches fucking stabbed me with a fiddle bow last week.

J.

Just White, Just Right, #3.

This response is from 13-year-old Ben Goldstein.

So I invited Lynx and Lamb to my Bar Mitzvah because they live a couple of doors down and my mom told me to because they were new in town and nobody had heard anything about them. My mom made me bring the invitation over to their house. When I did, they both answered the door. I didn't really want to be there, so I just told them my name and said I was inviting them to my Bar Mitzvah. One of them spat at me and the other one kicked me in the shin. Then their mom came to the door, called me a dirty Jew and slammed the door in my face. I stood there because I was so shocked, and then I heard some singing. When I got home, my mom looked at me like she'd seen a ghost and apologized for sending me over to what she called a hornet's nest. Then she called her best friend Susan Schram, and I heard her say something about killing them.

That's basically my experience with Lynx and Lamb. They didn't come to my Bar Mitzvah, by the way.

Ben Goldstein

Just White, Just Right, #2.

This response is from Max Welsh, a Pacific Northwest regional concert booker and promoter.

Prussian Blue, Lynx and Lamb's band, was suggested to me for a small arena concert in Portland. I later found out the woman behind it all was their mother, but that's not important. What is important is when I met them (They would not send me a demo, and two young blonde twins who sing and play music is PERFECT for the 18-29-year-old demographic presently, so I didn't want to let the opportunity pass by), the played a few songs for me. One was "Sacrifice," which I think you're familiar with. I heard Rudolph and thought they were singing about a reindeer, which was even better because blond twins doing Christmas stuff would send the 18-29s over the top. Who can say they made money from that crowd with a Christmas concert? This was looking better and better. Except that the song also mentioned all these other names, none of which were Comet, Blitzen etc. So I asked them what happened to Rudolph, and they told me he was convicted of war crimes at Nuremberg and died in prison. They said it wasn't fair. I agreed and said that's a terrible fate for an animal. They told me Rudolph wasn't an animal, he was an upstanding citizen who was just doing the necessary work to save his race. I told them it was true, that he did end up guiding Santa's sleigh, which is when they just started staring at me with this glazed, creepy look on their faces. It was like their blue eyes were sparkling. Sparkling with terror. I asked what was wrong and they began to go on and on about Rudolph Hess, who I now know spells his name Rudolf. They told me I had no idea about anything. Lynx spat on me and Lamb kicked me in the shin. Their mom grabbed their hands and stormed out of my office. That was when I did an internet search on Prussian Blue and found out they were miniature twin racists. Ends up a good thing I didn't book them, though I still think it would have been a sellout. I'm telling you, it's all about young, hot twins.

Yours,
Max

Just White, Just Right, #1.

The first person to respond to our inquiry e-mail was 14-year-old Sarah Flannel. She lives in the same town as Lynx and Lamb.

I know Lynx and Lamb. I was at the [NAME REDACTED] mall one day with my BFFs Kirsten and Jess and wer were just standing by Claire's waiting for Jess's ear to stop bleeding becuz she got another hole peirced (she has 14 holes in her left ear!) and this blond girl came up to us and asked us who we were. It was wierd becuz we didn't know her and she wanted top know who we were. So we told her and she told us her name was Lynx. And honestly I didn't laff. Honestly. But Kirsten kind of did. (Jess couldn't cuz she was kind of crying.) And she got a little mad but whatever. So she asked us if we went to school and we told her we did. She said she was homeschooled and Kirsten kind of laffed more becuz obvs homeschooled kids are total freakes. I just stood there and didnt do anything really. Oh, Lynx looked like a milkmaid. It was wierd. Anyway she said she was new in [NAME REDACTED] and she was looking for freinds which was wired becuz you don't really look for freinds, you just mnake them, you know? Anyway so that was wreid. (And Jess's ear was really bleeding at this point. She went ot the bathroom I think.) BUt we we like whatever. So we just staired at each other for awhile. Then another Lynx walked up to us but she said her name was Lamb. At this point Kirsten completly lost it and ran away. So I was standing there by myself with these two girls who looked like milkmaids looking at me with thier creepy blue eyes. TOTALLY creepy. IT was so deirw. Lamb said I was pretty and they were new in [NAME REDACTED] and they were just in the mall and whatever. She seemed more normal even tho her name was Lamb. Then Lynx was like I told them that already and got all crazy. I was like Lynx is TOTALLY the cunty one becuz with twins theres always a nice one and always a cunty one. I didnt' say that but that's what I thought,. Then Lynx asked me if had any black freinds. So I said yes becuz I'm totally in the drama club with An'gell. So Lynx spat on me and Lamb kicked me in the shin and they walked away. And I was just standing there. Kirsten wasn't around and JEss was still iun the bathroom. THEN, they turned around and called me n-lover, if you know what I mean. I can't write it becuz it's too awful. So I screamed milkmaid ho's at them, but they just walked away. So thats how I knew they were little racist bitches. I'm glad I know becuz if I ever see them again or in concert, I'll totally throw crap at them. Like bottles or something.

Love,
Sarah

Just White, Just Right.

So, over after we recovered from our Friday post on li'l racists Lynx and Lamb Gaede, we thought it might be interesting to try to get in touch with some of Lynx and Lamb's townmates (they don't have schoolmates, as they are homeschooled, unless you count their cats, Shrapnel and Razor) to find out what the real Lynx and Lamb are like. All the layman is privy to are two girls, sometimes in dirndls, sometimes in Wal-Mart fashions, warbling about wars and Nazi sympathizers and love. We wanted to get to the heart of Lynx and Lamb. The core. The essence. So, we made the interns work over the weekend (they got to go to Six Flags last weekend, so shut up) and we emailed every person we could in the Gaede's hometown of [somewhere very white in the Pacific Northwest]. Thus, today's NB is a special insider's look at the true Lynx and Lamb Gaede. Please enjoy...

LIVING WITH LYNX AND LAMB: JUST WHITE, JUST RIGHT.

Little Lamb and Lynx.

OK.

OK.

This is going to be our last post of the day because we honestly don't know how we can follow this. We actually had thought we'd hit the white trash motherlode with Tonya Harding's Web site, but, sheesh, were we wrong.

OK.

So.

These two cute twins are Lamb and Lynx Gaede. Yes, Lamb and Lynx. (We don't even want to touch "Gaede" because words with more vowels than consonants have always seemed a bit...untrustworthy).



No, they are not robots or even Children of the Damned. They are singers in a pop group they call Prussian Blue.

OK.

First, before anything, click on the pic below and take a look at a video they've made for a song called "Victory Day." Pay special attention not to the fact that neither Gaede can sing or that they take breaths in the middle of words (like "chil"—inhale—"dren") but to what they're singing about. Granted, it's nearly impossible because of the two aforementioned faults, but give it a go...



OK.

How was that? Chances are you're probably still a little confused or you're just convinced they're robots. Let's see... OK. Here's some help: another song on the one cd the girls have released is called "Sacrifice." No, it's not an off-pitch, breath-heavy rendition of the Elton John adult-contemporary classic. It's a musical tribute to Rudolf Hess. No, not a Rudolf Hess. The Rudolf Hess, Hitler's chief deputy. The lyrics praise Hess as "a man of peace who wouldn't give up."

So.

Yes, Lynx and Lamb are being called the Olsen Twins of the White Nationalist Movement. Their White Nationalist mother, April, home schools the girls, and their father brands their cattle with swastikas. You can read all about it here. We'd like to quote from the article, but it's really worth reading completely. Especially for the part where they say they helped children affected by hurricane Katrina. WHITE CHILDREN.

They also have a Web site at which you can buy fashions like dirndls...



...or check out lyrics to their songs, including "Sacrifice" which happens to have been written by Lamb. Also there are links (or Lynx) to other Aryan Web sites. Why not go...

OK.

Sorry. We can't do this anymore. We don't know what to think, say, do. We are laughing, crying, sleeping, shaking. We just passed out.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!