Via CNN.com, it's a piece that states that the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (or, hi-lariously, ICANN) says that the new Web URL suffix ".xxx" could be ready for purchase as early as this fall or winter. Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, What kind of site would want ".xxx" for a suffix? Hmmm. Well, friend, ".xxx" is for pornographic Web sites. Such a suffix will cost $60 a year, approximately 10 times more than a regular ".com" or ".net" URL. Why the special ".xxx"? ICM Registry Inc., some sort of organization having something to do with all this, says that the ".xxx" Web sites will "protect children from online smut if adult sites voluntarily adopt the suffix so filtering software used by families can more effectively block access to those sites."
To sum up, then, sites with a URL that ends in the $60 ".xxx" will prevent children from looking at online porn.
1) 12% of all Web sites are pornographic. Meaning, children are looking at Internet porn.
2) Yes, Trish and Bob may have installed parental controls, but the average age of beginning hacker is 14. Meaning, children are looking at Internet porn, even if it's "protected."
3) The best way for a child to find these Internet porn sites, at least in 1995, when we first had Internet access, was to read our mom's Newsweek that had an article about the boom of filthy, evil Internet porn. IT LISTED, WITHOUT A HINT OF IRONY, TONS OF SUSPECT SITES. (We never thanked you, Newsweek. Sorry. So, thanks.) Now, kids know how to get to pornographic sites because all they have to do is type "boobs" or "cock" or "Simba" into Google, and all sorts of pornographic sites will appear. If they do not not know how to get to pornographic sites on the Internet, they're either mouth-breathers or in a coma.
So, in an unheard-of attempt at promoting equality, the NB would like to be the first to highly encourage the speedy creation of this ".xxx," so it will be that much easier for kids, especially those retarded and unconscious, to find and view pornographic Web sites. We feel the ".xxx" suffix is basically like putting a chocolate-covered lollipop Yodel flan in front of a diabetic and telling him he can have the sugar if he can find it. It's a brilliant, brilliant idea in a gloriously backwards way. We even almost want a kid to be able to tell him about the time we had to masturbate three miles in the snowy soft-core before finally reaching home, just so he knows how ridiculously easy he has it.
Alas...
".xxx," we raise our glasses to you. We love you and want you to live, on behalf of children, those regular and special, everywhere.
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