Jane in the sky with a handgun.

Unhappy with torturing adult ears since leaving The Beatles, Paul McCartney is moving on to children. According to the UK Times, he'll publish a bestselling (Walter Mercado is apparently working for the Times, which is great) children's book in October. Obviously, we suggest keeping children far, far away from this book, as we feel it could suddenly, without warning, start singing "Wonderful Christmas Time" and ruin young lives everywhere. However, we do applaud McCartney for going back to his roots for the book's title.