Real desperation.

TV superhit Desperate Housewives is set to air in China next month. Zap2It reports that "It is unclear whether any scenes or dialogue will be cut from the series to accomodate its conservative audience." NB intern Sue Li, however, has inside information and told us that the show will only run one episode at the end of which the five women will set themselves on fire in front of the Forbidden City after they learn there are thousands of cameras—placed by Ziang-Wu Huber—in their houses. Four of the women will be played by Chinese actresses except for Teri Hatcher's character, who will be played by Teri Hatcher, who basically looks Chinese at this stage.