8.09.2005

Real Island.

The setting for "Real World" 4,302 has been confirmed as Key West, Florida.



The NB has been given a sneak preview of what's going to happen:

•Law student Mark and vegan LaTonya will quickly fall in love and make plans for a moonlight skinny dipping session at the beach. They will later spend all night looking for the beach until 6:07 a.m. when they realize Key West pretty much has no beaches except for those behind the chain resort hotels.

•Out and proud Shawn will convince mid-western farmgirl Callie to go with him to Key West gay club Aqua, where he will be hit on by gay men whose median age is 89 and where Callie will stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the last three surviving drag queens as they do their "I'm Coming Out" routine.

•Shy Lewis will spend a day wandering charming Duval Street where he will end up buying a T-shirt that says "Poop if You Love Key West" and one with a picture of a gassy baby that says "Key West Is for Farters."

•The whole gang will spend their first sunset on Mallory Pier, where they'll watch a homeless man balance a bicycle on his nose, a homeless man balance a chair on his nose and a homeless man balance a flaming Publix shopping cart on his nose.

•Exchange student Sabiqha will flash her boobs on a Fantasy Fest float and never be allowed back in her country.

•Kelly McGillis will star in yet another Red Barn Theater production in which she'll yet again play a lesbian but will deny she's one in real life.

•Clothes designer Elyssa will, after two days and 18 Bloody Marys from Sloppy Joe's (where she'll drunkenly buy a $45 T-shirt), realize she's stuck on an island version of a midway and will commandeer a four-person Cessna and make for Cuba. She will absolutely not take any of the Hemingway House's six-toed fucking cats with her because she fucking hates cats.

No comments: