There's a bus in your bomb.

All this Riding the Bus with My Sister discussion has led us to come up with possible sequels. Are you listening, O'Donnell? We want to help you lose your money faster. Anyway, following the incredible success of Riding the Bus with My Sister comes (and, yes, this is anti-climactic because it was a headline below)...



Riding the Bus with My Other Sister, in which Rosie O'Donnell discovers that Juliette Lewis's character from The Other Sister is really her sister, and they both take the bus to Giovanni Ribisi's character's funeral. He's dead because Juliette Lewis's character killed him by throwing a scissors at his eye during one of her outbursts. Following this movie, we have...



Riding the Bus with My Sister and My Other Sister, in which Rosie O'Donnell and Juliette Lewis are joined by Andie MacDowell's character from Riding the Bus with My Sister, though, because Andie MacDowell will be shooting the sequel to Groundhog Day (with Jim Belushi playing the Bill Murray part. Bill Murray is shooting another Wes Anderson movie though with Luke Wilson but not Owen Wilson because Owen Wilson is shooting Starsky & Hutch 2), Lisa Rinna will take over for MacDowell. The three of them will end up buying the bus company with MacDowell/Rinna's money from her lucrative yet soul-crushing photography business. They all live happily ever after. Until...



Riding the Bus with My Sister, My Other Sister and Sam, in which Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning join the gang, as Fanning's character from I Am Sam, now a teenager, attempts to home-school O'Donnell, Penn and Lewis. Of course, in this case, home is a bus and, while the bus is at a stoplight, Dennis Hopper's character from Speed plants a bomb on the bus. Sandra Bullock reprises her acting from Speed but plays O'Donnell's sister in this action tear-jerker. Eventually, Fanning's character saves the day (and the bus) by going underneath the bus and dismantling the bomb, proving, again, that cute non-retards are still smarter and more useful than regular retards and Sandra Bullock. Finally...



Riding the Bus with My Sister, My Other Sister, Sam, and My Sister Sam, has Pam Dawber's character from "My Sister Sam," who's still lamenting the death of her sister Sam, joining the gang (Andie MacDowell triumphantly returns for this one) to show that the only thing worth fretting about in life is being murdered by a stalker ex-boyfriend. Because none of the sisters has boyfriends, this bus trip is a joyride through America's national parks. It's a celebration of life and living, puncutated by beautiful shots of mountains and waterfalls, all set to a Clint Black soundtrack. The trip ends at the foot of a giant, glittering Emmy awarded to director Anjelica Huston for the most retarded retarded movie ever.