They're the twins the Olsens ladies are handing the "tween" empire off to. According to this site, the Sprousae have appeared in Big Daddy, some crap on the Disney Channel and "Hollywood Squares." The Olsens regard them as appropriate heirs to the empire they created, especially since boys have not had twin role models with fashion lines at Wal-Mart in, well, ever.
Anyway, we really can't be bothered to figure out which Sprouse is which, so we'll just call the left one Cole and the right one Dylan. Obvs, Cole is the Mary-Kate—judging from his skeletal frame and the "I've been up all night" look in his eyes, he may already have an "eating disorder," and Dylan is the Ashley, the more put-together yet fatter of the two.
We here at the NB wish both little gentlemen the best of luck with whomever you hire to make you glaxillions of dollars.
UPDATE:
As you may have seen in the "comments" below, helpful Bolton points out that the Sprousae appeared in a little film called Diary of a Sex Addict starring Rosanna Arquette, Nastassja Kinski and Michael Des Barres. It's about a sex addict chef. Mary-Kate and Ashley, we ask you: are these boys, who would appear in such questionable fare, still your choice to ascend the throne of the kingdom of "tween"? We would hope, for the sake of the average good, wholesome American, that you reconsider your decision and perhaps transfer control of your empire to another set of more responsible, less smutty twins—perhaps those who played Uncle Jesse's kids on "Full House" or the "Everybody Loves Raymond" ones. Thank you.
3 comments:
Uncle Jesse was the one with the kids. Uncle Joey had puppets.
Noted, Mooney.
Tired. Very tired.
You're forgiven. But not up on your Full House trivia? Come on...
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