The NB's Pesach Day Parade special report!

Wow. In a startling turn of events, the Hudson River was just parted and millions of New York Jews (basically the entire island of Manhattan) were seen fleeing the Rudy Guiliani Master-of-Ceremonies float, crossing the dry riverbed and making a tent city in Hoboken. This is clearly an unprecendented occurrence. We're trying to get more information about who initiated this amazing supernatural display and led the Jews out of bondage, but there is obviously so much commotion that it's hard to get word one from anyone.

Oh. Hold on. Intern Nnanne just handed us an email. It's from Lauren Bacall. It reads...

Dear NB or whatever the hell you are,

Please get me out of this fucking stocking. This is certainly not my idea of an AIDS benefit.

L. Bacall

P.S. I was promised lunch and a light afternoon snack.

How cute of her to use a "P.S." Clearly she's no help right now. Oh, OK. Here's another email. It's somehow from the matzoh Catherine Zeta Jones. We won't ask. It reads...

Yyy wyn't fyckyng bylyyvy thys. Styp.

Shit. It's in Welsh. Well, it'sh all we got.

Thy ryvyr pyrtyng ynd myss yxydys wyry thy wyrk yf lyttly M. Pyltryw-Myrtyn. Styp.

xyxy, Cyt

Um, OK. We're going to do our best to translate.

Oh.

Our.

God.

Of course. Of course! It's so clear.

+ =



It was, of course, Moses.

What an astounding, yet completely logical way to end the NB's Pesach Day Parade. We couldn't have planned it better. Actually, we probably could have, but you try not falling asleep after ingesting 47 pounds of dough.

Please have a miserable Pesach.

Shalom.