I, (state your name), do solemnly swear to continue watching and loving cycle 6 of "America's Next Top Model," as long as Tyra and company continue to make brilliant elimination decisions based not on each contestant's ability and promise but on her potential contribution to what is known as "good television." It has been clear to the viewing public for several cycles that to win "America's Next Top Model" is meaningless and even detrimental to a career in actual modeling; I am thrilled to know that the people running the show finally understand this and are handling elimination sessions accordingly. As well, I promise to further extol the program and its creators and producers should Jade "win." Oh, and please stop showing dental work.
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