4.18.2006

BitchSlap.

Here's a site called LifeSwitch. It's sponsored by a UK charity called Christian Aid (warning #1) and features new age music (warning #2) and a talking man (warning #3, though he does have an accent, which maybe decreases the warning status to warning #2.84 ). At LifeSwitch, you get to leave your depressing, cubicle-bound life for the life you've always dreamed of. You can choose to live an active life in the mountains or a life of leisure on the seashore. Or you can switch it up. The site will then place you in your ideal fantasy location, somewhere on Earth.

But, before you get too excited... because LifeSwitch is sponsored by a Christian organization, you will always end up in a place ravaged by hunger, disease, war and other general non-fantastic features. See, that's how they teach you that maybe your life isn't so bad and maybe you should be donating some time or money to these people and places less fortunate than you and yours. To which we say, Fuck you, LifeSwitch. Yeah, we might have ended up in hunger-plagued Ethiopia. But because we're cute and resilient, look where we are now...

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