Dear Matt Groening,
Congrats on your 350th episode!!!!!!!!!! We're so proud of the quality work you and your colleagues consistently bring to "The Simpsons" with each new episode! Please enjoy this "350th Episode Block Party" on our behalf. Unfortunately, we have entirely spent this year's budget on Constantine's eyeliner, Ryan Seacrest's star and 4,000,000,000 phone lines, so we hope you appreciate the wonderful 1991 "Simpsons" costumes that were loaned to us by the Museum of Television & Radio for the party!!! Have fun with them (and don't spill anything on them). OH, and Ray Romano kindly donated an hour of his time for some celeb shots. Be sure to thank him.
Take care, and drink responsibly. It is a cash bar.
P.S. Be sure to watch "American Idol" every Tuesday at 8pm/7pm Central and Wednesday at 9pm/8pm Central!