Paula Abdul after dark.

Holy shit. Two Paula Abdul stories in one day? Is it the opposite of our birthday? Anyway...

Season three "American Idol" contestant and criminal, Corey Clark...

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...is claiming that he had an affair with Ms. Abdul and that she promised to fund his career. All he had to do was keep quiet. Well, he's shopping a book around in which he claims as much, probably because his career was/is underfunded. We don't care one way or another about either of these people, but we'll give this one to Abdul. Clearly this kid is more desperate than she is and, because she's the only woman on the panel, she falls victim to his last-ditch-attempt-at-stardom accusations by default. We will say, though, that if Abdul's taste in clothes has anything to do with her taste in men, it so could have happened. And, given that she's a drug addict, she may not have been in completely control of herself. OK. We changed our mind. She's totally a whore.

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