High alert.

Here's the schedule for tonight, in helpful list form.

8pm:
ABC-"Lost"
UPN-"America's Next Top Model"

9pm:
ABC-"Alias"
FOX-"American Idol"

10pm:
ABC-"Primetime Live Special: Fallen Idol"

Yes, of course NB HQ has 2 DVRs, and, yes, we can fast-forward, but, honestly, this is making us very nervous. Please, TV programmers, do not do something like this again. We are fragile and can only view and process so much useless albeit important information at once. Our rapidly shrinking minds are begging for mercy. BEGGING. FOR. MERCY. Help our minds, won't you? Please? Peales? Pfewfle?