Good luck, but good night.

Last year, in honor of the Academy Awards broadcast, we marvelously presented a history of Oscar fiascos. This year, in honor of the upcoming Academy Awards broadcast, we'll be the fiasco. You see, we're not really that excited about the show this year. Sure, Jon Stewart's a card and it will be terribly exciting to hear "bitches" uttered during the ceremony. But, really, eh.

OK, fine, we're rilly lazy today, and the interns are on a bus trip to Woodbury Commons, so we have even less help than usual. That said, here's what you can find in this year's Oscar goody bag. Or, rather, what you can't find as you're obviously not attending. Chances are if you're reading this site, you can't even afford a TV. Anyway, here's the swag (how sad it is that the Cheese Impresario will once again be passing by our door).

And, because you didn't ask, here are our predictions for the winners of the top categories:

Best picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best director: Ang Lee
Best actress: Reese Witherspoons
Best actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best supporting actress: Rachel Weisz
Best supporting actor: Matt Dillon
Best original screenplay: Crash
Best adapted screenplay: Brokeback Mountain

Semper snoozefest! Oh well, at least Robert Altman is getting an Oscar. Finally. Nashville and 3 Women are two of our most favoritest movies. If you haven't seen both, do yourself a favor: be a good fag and go rent them. NOW.

Happy Oscaring!

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