3.10.2006

Thou shall practice "Idol" worship.

Mornin'. We have a slight problem. Our predictions for who would be voted off "American Idol" last night were 100% correct. As previously noted, we didn't even really watch...excuse us...fast-forward through it this week. We only caught a bit of some of the performances. Yet, we still managed to pick the correct four of 16 people to be sent home. People, the reality TV line has been crossed. Apparently we no longer need to even tune in to shows to know what's going on. We are not boasting. On the contrary—this is very, very worrisome. Sure, we've never been ashamed of our TV-watching enthusiasm—people who "haven't turned the TV on in six years" should be banned from Earth. But we do like to pretend that our life doesn't revolve around the television. Alas, we can no longer keep up that facade. Our life revolves around the television. It's sending signals to us even when turned off. We are being ruled.

That said, our picks for this season's "American Idol" final four are...

This one...


This one...


Paris...


And Face...


Hmmm, you're saying to yourself. Where's Mandisa? Folks, pay attention to week 7 or 8 when America suddenly turns on the fat girl. You've all been to high school. Heck, most readers of this site are in high school right now. The fat girl never wins. Ever. The fat boy, as long as he's jovial and funny, is another story (see Ruben Studdard), but eventually he's abandoned, too (see Ruben Studdard). No, Mandisa unfortunately doesn't have a chance. It will come down to a Paris/Face finale with Paris taking the title.

Help us, please. Help us.

2 comments:

Chris said...

I wonder if she'll try to drop some weight, and if the public would get behind her on that one. Ha, remember when she said "are you watchin' my bottom" to the trio as she exited one "selection".

Ryan Seacrest is even more annoying this season said...

I believe the top six will include these four, McPheever and Gray Charles. Beyond that, though, we'll have to see how it plays out -- I think Baldy McHotterson might be the last boy standing. Not to question your omniscient RealiTV powers...