Imagine our delight as we picked up a New York Press this morning to find that it's the annual "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" issue, perhaps our favorite yearly issue of any free paper. Imagine our delight to find Gawker, a once-necessary, now toothless Web site at #32. Imagine our disappointment to read the last line of the capsule: "It may be obnoxious, but it's also indispensible."
It's true. We're afraid this year's 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers issue is not nearly as obnoxious or indispensible as issues of years past. Amanda Lepore? More like Amanda Le-snore. Michael Bloomberg? So 2003. James Frey? Give the guy a break already—every memoir is fiction.
Anyway, to make up for the New York Press's shortcomings, here are our...
5 Most Loathsome New Yorkers!
1.) The guy who lives upstairs
2.) The homeless veteran who called us a "puss" this morning
3.) Hillary Clinton
4.) The friend who just moves here eight years after you did and gets a "fantastic deal on this cute one-bedroom!"
...and, as #36 in the New York Press is "the inconsiderate moron who blasts his iPod into my ear every morning on the L train" (oooh—such harsh words!), we'll one-up the paper and declare our 5.) the New York Press writer who namechecks the L train.