ROFL (NIFOC, OC).

MSNBC's top story right now lays the blame on shorthand and stupid parents for those pesky unwanted teenage pregnancies by 35-year-old men. It claims that teens use insidious and dirty acronyms to communicate inappropriate messages to their Internet hook-ups. Apparently some parents still underestimate pre-pubescents when it comes to nasty talk about whips and chains and leather. A group called TEENANGELS has a Web site which addresses the problem in a predictibly lame way. People, if you're going to win this, WYSN, you better start coming up with your own language. Like, "April, if you fucking talk to that 46-year-old rabbi posing as a skater one more fucking time, I will glue your vagina shut FOREVER."

Here's a chart that MSNBC provides so you can become familiar with this language that's destroying our innocent nation. Never again will "Sense of Humor Failure" lead to a quickie in the back seat of a Ford station wagon in the parking lot of a Taco Bell.