ABC's TLC 4 J.J.

ABC renews "Desperate Housewives," "Lost," "Boston Legal" and "Alias." Duh. Those shows have helped bring ABC back from the...wait..."Alias"??? "Alias"??? Apparently ratings are somehow up for this show, which has, in two seasons, gone from a completely enthralling and thrilling spy serial to late-era "Felicity" with prostheses. Please, ABC, for the love of everything good, KILL IT! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! IF ONLY TO PREVENT MORE CHARCOAL DRAWINGS OF MARSHALL! WAIT! WHAT? ARGHRGHGRHGRHRHRHHHHHHHHH........