Hold me closer, tiny demon.

Here are some tips about how to use that demon who's been talking to you incessantly to your greatest advantage. An example? OK.

If the demon promises that surrendering to Lucifer will make you the richest person in the world in 10 years, nonchalantly ask who the second richest will be then. "Later do an Internet search for the name," suggests Wiltex. "If you find it's a young entrepreneur, invest in his fledgling business."

Unfortunately the tips do not include advice on what to do if you constantly hear, "He is out of your league. He is out of your league. Aim lower. AIM LOWER," which we do not ever hear. Our friend does. He asked us to find out. She. He.

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