What did the short gay say to the noted fashion photographer?

Oy. Just oy. Jenna von Oÿ, in fact.

OK. So, yes, there was an "America's Next Top Model" teleconference last night, and, yes, in a moment of unmitigated absurdity, we did speak to Nigel Barker.

Directly.

In fact, when we said, "Nigel, can I ask you one more question," he replied, "Sure, Matt*." We are working desperately to secure a sound file of the incident.

Honestly, do we really need to tell you anything else that happened? Probably not. However, we will...



But first, here's your one chance ever to find out about the quarter-wit behind this quarter-witted site. Let us give you a prime example of the sheer brilliance featured in this interview:

Who is the intended audience [of your blog]?
Smart, intelligent, good-looking glitterati. Actually reached? Drunks and teenage girls.

"Smart and intelligent"? Nice work! That's what happens when you fill out a questionnaire whilst enjoying some creme de menthe. Ah, well. The rest of the interview is decidedly not much better. However, there is a giant picture of your editor's head, so if you've always wanted something to throw your leftover General Tso's chicken at, well, eureka!

We'll be back in a few with highlights from our dinner with Nigel. And, yes, we realize we are majorly breaking our unwritten rule of never recapping anything about our life, but come on. It's Nigel Barker. Noted fashion photographer. And, as of last night, our BFF.

*That is the name of your editor. Set it and forget it.