For weddings and a funereal birthday (or, No joy in Mudville).

Poor Lisa Whelchel. As four of you probably know, it was her birthday and...oh, we'll let her explain:

Today is actually my birthday and I am in Washington DC for the Foursquare Denominational Convention that my husband, Steve, produces every year. Tonight is opening night so Steve is busily running around taking care of details, the kids are in the other room watching a movie, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to write the rest of last week’s journal entry.

Don't shed a tear yet. There's a happy ending:

So, even though today is actually a drag of a birthday, I’m looking forward to the whole week. Steve was able to extricate himself from the office long enough to take me to Baja Fresh for birthday tacos.

P-h-e-w! Looks like Steve dodged another birthday bullet with a little help from Mexico. Tell us, Steve, now how do you feel about those immigrants?

Mother Whelchel also honored her daughter's birthday...

My mom took me out to dinner last week to celebrate. She then took me shopping and bought me my first pair of reading glasses. Happy 43rd birthday! Actually, I love them. My arms were getting too short to be able to read the menu or my Bible lately.

Hallelujah! The Bible can once again be read (As if she doesn't have it completely memorized. Right, Tucker?) with a little help from these...

(Need we explain how much we adore the helpful captions? No, we need not.)

Anyway, anyway, anyway. Enough about the most depressing bday ever. Let's jump right in to the good news...

Um. Two words pop instantly into mind: Hubba hubba. Oh, and also these: Marry me! Oh, and: Marry me, but be naked!

Of course, as we know all too well, if you take the good, you take the bad:

Boo! Hiss! Jeers!

Seriously, Maria, how we envy you. (She does look small enough to be broken. Right, Clancy?)

The next morning was the wedding and it was wonderful. Other than some sound problems, the ceremony was perfect. Maria, of course, was lovely but I couldn’t take my eyes off of my beautiful baby brother. Who, in turn, couldn’t take his eyes off of hi [Rest of paragraph edited for brevity].

No kidding, Leese. We can't take our eyes off him, either. We just registered CaseyWhelchelIsTotesHot.com, by the way. Stay tuned for the official Casey Whelchel Fan Club.

In the meantime, please enjoy these pics of Casey dancing with his bride and his mom.*

What a gay, sorry, guy!

And now, the excerpt de resistance of this week's Coffee Talk:

We ate dinner at a really cool restaurant called “Café Tu Tu Tango,” where they only serve appetizers. The menu has over 50 different appetizers so we ordered an assortment and all tried them family-style. Most of them were delicious, but some of them were just plain weird. The restaurant is decorated from floor to ceiling with original artwork that is for sale. Clancy even had her portrait painted in a style that is perfect for her bedroom.

1.) We're pretty sure these "appetizers" are either officially referred to on the menu as a.) "tapas" or b.) "appeteasers." Right now odds are on the latter, though it's veeeery close.

2.) Here she goes again with the "weird." If you haven't blocked it out, last week Lisa took Tucker to the Guitar Center and said the experience was weird. Alas, she failed to give us details much the same as she fails to give us details here. We'd like to heretofore request that any use of "weird" in any form (i.e. "weirdly," "weirdness" etc.) in a Coffee Talk entry be absolutely qualified.

The rest of this week's entry is relatively bland. It does deepen our fascination with Miss Whelchel's complete devotion to corporate entities:

We went back to CityWalk for dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant.

This is classic Whelchel, unusual only because she does not mention the name of Puck's restaurant. Typically she is so careful to be specific about which chain eatery she has visited. It's kind of like if it were 1998, and she had just watched the hilarious Thursday-night TV block of "Veronica's Closet," "Frasier," "Jesse" and "Friends" and failed to call it "Must See TV," which we know she so totally did. Maybe she realized how sad her birthday was and was just like, "Screw it all to heck, I'm not writing 'Wolfgang Puck Café'! It will have to be 'Wolfgang Puck's restaurant.' See what you've done, Haven? See what you've done?"

Er, sorry. Anyhoots, she ends the entry with this:

Life is never dull in our family. I hope Maria knows what she just got herself into!

Yeah, we hope so, too, because we've already prepared our Wolfgang Puck Air Mattress for Casey should Maria realize what a terrible, terrible mistake she's made. And, by Wolfgang Puck Air Mattress, we mean the Wolfgang Puck Empty Half of Our Bed.


*Bride and mom have been edited out to save bandwidth

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