We finally fucking received our first E-letter from Lisa Whelchel. We have to say that even though we truly appreciate her book and cd picks of the month, we really don't excuse the fact that the May E-letter ends with this...
Dear Lord, I pray that each person reading this E-letter will enjoy a blessed Easter. May the miraculous truth of Your resurrection overwhelm the threat of death in any area of their life. Fill them with hope and faith to believe you died to save and you rose again to prove that you could. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Using the word "May" does not distract us from the fact that this is clearly a prayer meant for April.
Nor does this...
(I originally wrote this E-letter to send last month. Even though we are past Easter, my prayer for you is still the same.)
Nor does this (though it almost did)...
Lisa, if you're going to promise us a monthly E-letter, the least you can do is make sure it's monthly. Otherwise, we're sure god, who doesn't exist, will allow you to publish bimonthly if you're swamped. He'll mostly allow this because, as we said, he doesn't exist. But also because you're pretty. And your bro is hot. Really, either keep it up to date or change the title. 'Cause, Lisa...
God hates liars.
1 comment:
hilarious
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