May day mayday.

OK. So, it seems we have this "Day Without Immigrants" to thank for the complete and utter lack of activity here at NB headquarters. None of the interns is anywhere to be found, which is quite interesting seeing that we do not permit them to watch the news. (They can't read.) There must be some underground network of immigrant communication going on. Well, we'll see how much they and their black market UN enjoy sleeping in crates sans styrofoam popcorn. In the meantime, we're going to do our best to manage this site on our own (while still speaking in third person, of course). If any of you know how to make coffee, a step-by-step list of instructions, preferably with diagrams, would be much appreciated.