Festivals of retardity.

Thanks to the previous Copperfield post, we have found our new favoritest source of "celebrity" news. Are you ready?



1. Patti LaBelle performed at a Florida music festival the last weekend in March. Apparently it was cold, so audience members huddled close to each other to keep warm. Which is why she said they looked like "Katrina victims."

2. Faye Dunaway caused trouble at this year's Palm Beach International Film Festival. Obviously, this is no surprise—we're more interested in pointing out that a.) now every city in the country has a film festival and b.) people still call on Faye Dunaway to a.) act and b.) show up for things.

3. However, D.B. Sweeney caused trouble, too. Yes, D.B. Sweeney. Oh, let's just let the column speak for itself:

Organizers didn't take actor D.B. Sweeney's power play too kindly, either. My festival spy says Sweeney, best known for the skating chick flick The Cutting Edge, demanded a first-class plane ticket from Tinseltown last week. He was told to fly coach or stay home. He stayed home.

OMG, are we LOL-ing RN. Who didn't stay home?

Meanwhile, there were two last-minute boldface additions to the movie orgy: The Princess Bride's Cary Elwes and Everybody Loves Raymond's Doris Roberts.

The moral of all this hilarity? We are thrilled to see Khandi Alexander is getting work.

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