This just back in.

Ah well. It's with hesitant disappointment that we bring you this follow-up email:

-- A man who threatened to jump from the 10th Street bridge has just been apprehended.

Officials had to shut down all northbound lanes on the connector just after 10:30 a.m.

The man was standing on the other side of the fence from officials.

The suspect was apprehended just after 11:30 a.m.

<>Traffic is said to be backed up for miles due to the shutdown.

This brings to mind one question: if you're a failure at suicide, what's your next move? Oh, right! Two of our interns can answer that. Sorry, one. Shit. Someone call 9-1-1.

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