Hello, Mr. Armitage.

Because we're only able to type with one hand today (get your minds out of the gutter—the other hand has the first of many Citron and sodas in it!), here's a BBC report on 141 euphamisms for "drunk." Favorites include, "With the fairies," "On a campaign," "Jan'd" (short for "Jan Hammered," which we can only hope is a tribute to the man responsible for the "Miami Vice" theme), and, of course, "Saying hello to Mr. Armitage." At last we know who that strange man in the bed was last Saturday night.