In very important entertainment news, it has been announced that 43-year-old-looking 23-year-old Beyonce Knowles will perform two of the fantastically crappy Oscar-nominated songs and share the stage with fantastically crappy Josh Groban for another at the 943rd Academy Awards. What this means is that the world will be spared the vocal stylings of Minnie Driver on possibly the lamest attempt at an Oscar ever, "Learn to be Lonely," from the unpardonable Schumacher crapfest, The Phantom of the Opera. Whether this is good news or bad news is beside the point. The Oscars will never be watchable again until the Debbie Allen Dance Number is restored to its full glory.
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