"CSI" will cause your child to burn in Hell.

USA Today (a.k.a. My First Newspaper) led us to this site, the Parents Television Council, which researches sex, violence and profanity on Television [sic]. Honestly, we don't know where to begin.

You can look up the Top 10 Best and Worst Shows for your family, at least for the 2003–2004 television season, from which you'll learn that "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "American Idol" are choice picks for quality family television viewing and "Two-and-a-Half Men" and "Will & Grace" are not. Obviously whether or not a show is quality viewing for a human is not a factor. You can also view the Best and Worst Family TV shows of the Week. As of this writing, the most recent week is January 31 to February 6, for which the best show was the "Happy Days 30th Anniversary Reunion." We didn't look at the worst show, but we're assuming it's the "Happy Days 30th Anniversary Reunion."

Also, you can watch the Worst TV Clips of the Week, which features scenes of "gratuitous sexual innuendo" and"gratuitous teen sex" from shows like "Without a Trace," "CSI," and "The Golden Girls." Kidding about "The Golden Girls"! Though it did feature more questionable material than all these shows combined. Anyway, the main thing is that you can watch them, so if you have a younger brother or sister, please urge them to go to this site and watch all these clips.

There's also something called Keep Them Innocent, which we obviously couldn't be bothered to read. It does sound kind of hot.

The best thing about the site is that it keeps us up to date on Elvira's Connie Sellecca's entertainment contributions. And, really, parents, if you're going to let Connie Sellecca decide what your kids should be watching, you totally deserve to be parents.