This used to be a tree.

The makers of "American Idol" dare to believe their viewers know how to read and unleash this on the world this week:



It doesn't look like there are any major Clay Aiken/male prostitute stories, but there apparently is a column written by last-season's runner-up/ham Diana DeGarmo, which should provide for so..................epwfwekofjigojqhoewnp (<--- us killing ourselves. Get it?)