The Virgin Mary? Stoked.

Yesterday, Brian Welch, formerly of something called Korn, testified in front of 10,000 churchgoers in a sort of Christian coming-out ceremony. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me," Welch said, obviously ignoring 10,000 other responses. Pastor Ron Vietti claims Brian is now "stoked" since finding God. So are we, because Dyan Cannon has stopped leading her God's Party celebrations, and Welch is a perfect replacement. Jesus, God must be stoked.

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