OK. When you find out someone in your office is planning a surprise birthday party with ice cream cake for you, and you're perched on the precipice of some tall building and ready to jump, just remember that you never contributed to this site. You're feeling a little better now, aren't you? Actually, we're about to go contribute to the White Noise post, just to fuck with its creator who is obviously the only one who has voted thus far. Actually, no we're not because we'd rather jump off a tall building after being subjected to an office birthday party.