Louis Devito is a landlord who owes us money. That's why we are proud to post this blog entry from Christian Finnegan's Tower of Hubris. We LOVES the Interwebs! Enjoy!
Specifically, I remember once having to deal with a former landlord**, a genial man in his late 50s who I wasn't even aware was gay. I had stopped by one late Friday afternoon to get a letter or recommendation--I was moving to a new apartment and I needed to get a letter from my landlord in order to sign the lease. As he was typing up the letter, he invited me to sit down next to him--"I promise I won't bite...unless you ask me nicely!, he said "jokingly". He then started to ask me who was going to be moving into my old room, complaining that my lease-holding roommate never got anyone nice for him to date. I just kind of sat there and laughed nervously, desperately pretending that i had no idea what he was trying to imply. Finally, he came out with it.
"So, Christian...you're not gay, are you?"
"Um, no. Sorry. I mean....you know...sorry. But, no."
Seeing that I was incredibly uncomfortable, my landlord immediately waved his hands dismissively and tried to put me at ease. "Oh no, it's nothing like that. Don't worry about it. I don't like to pressure a boy. When I see a young man I like, I just say to him 'Hello. My name is Louis and I think you're attractive. Would you be interested in having dinner with me? You'll have a great time, you'll make a hundred dollars, get your dick sucked', and that's it. That's all I say. No pressure, or anything!"
I just stared at him, open-mouthed. He must have uttered that phrase three or four more times, "make a hundred dollars, get your dick sucked". It was so blas�, it was as if he was reading aloud from the phone book. For my part, I responded with someone along the lines of "That's funny...that you say that to people...you know, other people...." Eventually, frustrated with my seeming inability to take a hint, my landlord asked "So...does that seem like a situation that would be appealing to you?"
** His name is Louis DeVito, for the record.