I love you more than marching bands and cookie-making.

During our intense research for our last post, we came across this article written in November of 2003 by one Moira McMahon. It's called "Short Bus to Oscar," and in it she compiles the top 10 mentally disabled performances of all time up until November 2003 (sorry—Adrien Brody's Oscar-erasing turn as the Village idiot is not included). A few actually good performances are included, like Billy Bob Thornton's heartbreaking showing in Sling Blade and Leonardo DiCaprio's utterly devastating (we're totally serious—that shit is GOOD) and Oscar-nominated role in What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

However, Ms. McMahon spends more time on the cringeworthy, for which we applaud her. We have a post-Oscar-winning Cuba Gooding, Jr. desperately trying to add another statuette to his mantel in the also-starring-Ed-Harris-who-acted-like-Gollum-in-The Hours-but-was-ill-not retarded-so-is-not-included-here Radio. We also have Giovanni Ribisi from the sublime The Other Sister, the eighteenth-worst Tom Skerritt movie of all time. Strangely, Juliette Lewis is not paired with Ribisi—she's merely mentioned in his writeup. We think she was just as completely riveting as him and should be treated equally. But, really, who are we to stickle? Go ahead and read this fantastic article and revel in the amount of times the word "retard" is liberally and humorously used.