Ladies of the evening.

We were going to discuss all the hilarity...

and boobs...

...captured in the pics of the "America's Next Top Model" cycle 5 finale party, but we found An Evening with Joan Collins instead.

No, that's not wax, and, yes, we are terribly busy with menial accounting work—five of our interns decided to accept Bette Midler's invitation to clean up some field today, so we're short of staff. And staph. That Montaldo is hacking up a lung. He loves that Bette Midler, though. Trooper.

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