No deal.

After a few lite whiskey egg nogs last eve, we tuned into the premiere of NBC's weeklong game show event, "Deal or No Deal," primarily because we loves us a little Howie Mandel. Not really. It was primarily because "Wheel of Fortune" isn't fucking retarded enough for us when we're hopped up on booze and sugar.

Anyway, we really have nothing to say about this asinine show other than that stupid bitch last night went home with $25,000 instead of $133,000, and we LOVED it. Though we honestly wanted to raise the stakes a little bit and change the game to "Deal or Slavery" or "Deal or Host This Show."

If you want the rules, visit the link above. Our favorite part is when the omnipotent "banker" calls Howie Mandel on a phone and Mandel has to answer and pretend he's actually talking to someone. We really didn't get enough Mandel acting in "Little Monsters," so we're very happy he's able to use his thespianic skills once again. Very nice, NBC. Oh, we also LOVE the 25 hideous "model"s, 22 of whom are named Lindsey, holding the cases.

Seriously, this show is a new low for TV. We'll so be tuning in again tonight.