The queen of mindnumbing reality shows returns tonight with a two-hour premiere. Of course, you already knew this. But, before you give in, take a moment to reflect on the fact that just a few years ago, your life was just as miserable as when this show didn't exist (and, if you're Ruben Studdard, even less miserable). So maybe you should skip this tonight and perhaps take a walk or help a sick puppy or put a cat to sleep.
And, please remember, Clay Aiken is not gay nor does he want to talk to any gays.