11.11.2005

Friday asked questions.

This is software called Friday. What it does is turn a list of questions into a FAQ Web site for you. Just like that! Upon finding this, we became super excited and compiled a list of NB FAQs to use with Friday, but, alas, Friday is not freeware. Nor does it look like it's available for Macs. Nor does it look like it's been updated since Adrien Brody did that spread for Men's Health. Alas, we have this list of FAQs but no Friday. What? You want to see the list anyway? Really? Well, all right. But you'll have to scroll if your monitor cannot accommodate the whole list. There'll be no clicking.

Nervous Breakdown FAQS

Q: Is anything on this site ever truly funny?
A: No.

Q: Are you hiring?
A: If you are over 18 but are still being kept in a cage, you are eligible for an internship with us. Please direct all inquiries to NervyB@gmail.com.

Q: What if I receive the wrong DVD?
A: Please return the incorrect DVD in the postage-paid envelope provided and put the correct DVD back in your queue. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Q: Is that pink pill at the top of the page an actual medication?
A: We found it in a cab after Dom Deluise got out, so your guess is as good as ours.

Q: When this site began, there were weekly letters to al-Qaeda. To be honest, those were mildly entertaining. What happened?
A: We don't know what you're talking about. As for the letters to al-Qaeda, if you remember, we had to stop those because Gitmo only had dial-up.

Q: How do you maintain an ad-free site?
A: The limited number of readers makes it quite easy for us to publish a free journal.

Q: Will Nervous Breakdown ever fold?
A: At any moment.

Q: Complete this sentence: I wonder why ___________________.
A: Please see post entitled "Famine."

Q: What's the capitol of Montana?
A: Helena. Please don't fuck with us with state capitols.

Q: What do you think is the one greatest contribution Nervous Breakdown has made to the world?
A: Moving Renée Richman-Weisband out of the chorus and into the spotlight.

If any of your questions have not been answered here, and we don't see how that could be true, please send your question to NervyB@gmail.com. It will be answered based on the order in which it was received and on the quality of comma usage. Thank you.

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