Today's normally scheduled programming will not be seen. Instead, we will be sitting shiva for Lisa, the latest victim of Hurricane Tyra and "America's Next Top Model." Tyra, how could you do this to us? Do not you want us to watch your show?
We will be seeing visitors from 12pm to 3pm. Please do not bring anything—we have plenty of bagels, salads, coffee etc. Please just feel free to come and share your favorite memories of the girl whose favorite TV show is "The Parkers" and whose favorite movie is Corrina, Corrina. We're tearing up just writing that. Forgive us. We are devastated.