Thank you, Broadway.

Ah, street of dreams, how could we leave you off the list? After all, you gave us not one, but two of the most wonderfully excruciating theater experiences of our life: the skeleton- and pirate-filled musical In My Life and, of course, Suzanne Somers's one-woman, one-coat-rack show, The Blonde in the Thunderbird. Usually we'd have to travel to Branson or Reno or Suzanne Somers's living room to see shit like this, but, street of dreams, you brought it to our front door. AND, we didn't have to pay a penny for either, so only our time was wasted, not our finances! We could go on and on and on about these experiences, but better just to say thank you than to relive Suzanne "giving birth" on a La-Z-Boy.

Thank you, Broadway, for ten years' worth of crap in one half-season. Have some turkey on us, if you please. De-Somers-ful!