Your Heiress Diary #5.

On page 159 of Heiresses and You, Paris reminds you that "Your breakup mantra should always be: tomorrow will be a better day, and I'll meet cuter guys." First of all, Paris, never ever follow a verb with a colon. The verb automatically offsets the following phrase. There's no need for a colon. Any Heiress should know that. Second of all, you are so right, girl! We have already met, like, three or four cute guys today, and that was just in line at the OTB.

Above Paris's breakup mantra is a space for you to fill in "Guys who are next on my list." Hmmmm. Let's see. We'll do all celebs, since we're kind of famous.
  1. Jamie Bamber. We don't care if you have a wife and kids—you next! So you better get ready cuz we're coming for you, Bamber. Tell that hoochie mama of yours to just STEP OFF cuz we means bidness. Oh yeah. It's on. Oh yeah. You betta gets ready. And we know where to find you. Don't you worry. We're comin'. Oh yeah. GETS READYS...
That's all. We only have one person on the list. Anyway, we have some work to, um, finish. Um. See you in a bit.

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