Last week we published a series of emails between this site's editor and Zach of True Enough for You as our first "Project Runway" Gay/Countergay feature. Today, to keep with the epistolary theme, we present an iChat Gay/Countergay. And if you've had enough of this back-and-forth, we have bad news for you: there's going to be more come "America's Next Top Model." But take heart, we have edited this to make it as brief and painless as possible. As well, we have provided explanation where things get perhaps a little vague. That's in gray. We're in salmon. Zach's in black.
The NB: Did you see PR?
TEFY: i did, and it was the best thing maybe ever
The NB: It really was. I almost couldn't take it. I am entirely pro-Santino now.
TEFY: the lupe thing? amazing.
The NB: Amazing.
(Lupe, or Guadalupe, was apparently high and/or drunk during the taping. She was asked a simple question and could not, for the life of her, answer it coherently. It was excruciating, yet highly entertaining.)
TEFY: i am not entirely there, but he's amusing
The NB: He sings everything. That's enough for me. And Daniel V. was a little prick last night.
TEFY: you think?
The NB: Yes.
TEFY: i thought he was just defensive
The NB: No. He was clearly over it. Which is fine. But you have to put on a game face.
TEFY: maybe he knows he loses
The NB: When they were arguing over the chiffon line, he finally was like, "It was Andrae." All bored.
TEFY: haha, i didn't know the chiffon was such an issue.
The NB: Smile and nod, dude.
TEFY: but he helped out marla
The NB: The chiffon line was the centerpiece of the whole evening.
TEFY: and i have to love my PA girls
(Daniel let us know that he appreciated Marla's success as a store owner. Or something like that. Our middle fingers got in the way.)
The NB: Fuck him.
TEFY: you haven't recovered from hearing that he was like glenn close at that bar, have you?
The NB: Why did we only just find out about Shatangi?
(Shatangi is apparently Zulema's tell-it-like-it-is alter ego, which we only found out about last night, which, upon further reflection, kind of makes sense as Shatangi was the only one we really ever saw, but we'd probably have just been confused if "Shatangi" kept popping up on our screens when we thought her name was Zulema. Anyway, we now have a tell-it-like-it-is alter ego. Her name is Taffany.)
TEFY: i have no idea, but i feel gypped. in fact i want to see project shatangi instead of project jay.
The NB: Of course. My favorite line of the season is still Zulema telling Kara she can cry as long as she keeps cutting.
TEFY: i love that, and i plan to tweak it and use it
The NB: "You have to cut AT THAT RATE."
TEFY: right, substitute cut for other words
The NB: Totes. And Daniel Franco is a lunatic. And fat.
TEFY: i loved when he said I love you Heidi
(At the end of the episode, he had this creepy staredown with Heidi Klum, during which he hinted that we may see him on season 3. Truly terrifying.)
The NB: They really showed us some A-1 interview moments, as well.
TEFY: why do they hold this stuff back?
The NB: It was kind of shocking.
TEFY: the editors last night were so brill
The NB: They deserve a Pulitzer.
TEFY: i would kill andrae in real life i think
The NB: I can't decide. Either kill or protect.
TEFY: i couldn't do a whole night with him. his whole tantrum on the runway.
The NB: But he seems like the one who had the most fun, which I appreciate.
TEFY: 6:45 minutes elapsed: "Oh, where to begin..."
The NB: Wonderful. I couldn't believe that lasted 10 minutes. We needed the clock initially.
TEFY: i am surprised it didn't last longer
The NB: And I totally forgot it happened with Diane von Furstenburg.
TEFY: she looked amazing
The NB: Who was so not interested.
TEFY: she was not having it
The NB: She had to sit there for 10 minutes and listen to Andrae! Certainly a low point in her career.
TEFY: lighten up it's just fashion
The NB: Well, now we have context for it. Thank you very much.
("Lighten up, it's just fashion" were lyrics to a song Santino made up. Previously it seemed that he'd improvised them up in the workroom, but we were informed that they were, in fact, words uttered by Michael Kors during a "runway" session.)
The NB: This was like the prequel.
TEFY: i hope no one skipped this episode. it brought so much together
The NB: This was "Project Runway"'s "Wide Sargasso Sea."