A night off.

Well, ladies, it's Wednesday, and you know what that means: a "Lost" rerun! And "Project Runway" is a reunion show—if we wanted to see 14 crazies in a room, we'd go home. Seriously, ladies, we'll watch it, but we don't expect to care much. And we're assuming "American Idol" will be 12 hours long again, so maybe we can catch it sometime over the weekend? Oy.

Screw tonight. The bottom line is this, and we think you need to be sitting down before we begin.

OK? Good? OK.

Two weeks from tonight, on March 8, "Lost," "American Idol, "Project Runway" and "America's Next Top Model" will all be on. Alas, you have two weeks to figure out what you're going to do about it, which, granted, isn't much time, but it's better than nothing. We will do our best to remind you of this occasionally, just in case you let your mind wander. And, hopefully, you still have the opportunity to take March 9 off from work. Lord knows you'll need it.

Wanyays, enjoy your evening. Maybe adopt a child. Or, at least, feed one.