And another...
And another...
That's right! Each contestant will be turned into a Siamese Cabbage Patch Kid and forced to watch episodes 1–3 of Star Wars. Brutal.
Oh. Wait. No. On the first two-hour episode of "America's Next Top Model," each contestant's hair will be completely shaved off! For reals. The first photo shoot will require each of the 13 girls to be completely shorn. Obviously we are already looking forward to the sheer volume of crying this revealtion is sure to create. Tears of such magnitude have only occurred three times on earth: at Hiroshima, during the Mariel Boatlift and when the last Sizzler closed in Columbia, South Carolina. AND, to add insult to baldness, Janice Dickinson will make a surprise appearance, hopefully to mock the girls into complete humiliation. People, the odd-numbered 13 contestants lead us to believe you may witness the first reality suicide on March 8. All this before an actual panel-induced elimination!
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Well, if we could create a road sign for all this, it would read,"Caution, Fantastic Times Ahead."
1 comment:
Can't wait!
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