The New York review of whores.

Like so many of us with VD, a date is hard to come by. Sometimes you just have to use your hard-earned cash to snag a lover. The obvious conundrum, then, is how do you know your money is getting you the best? Well, wonder no longer! At The Erotic Review, you can search by cities, area codes and dates to find the top female escorts in your area. Why, based on what we've read, we're booked with Fiorella at noon for an hour at the Howard Johnson on 34th Street! We were going to go with Angel but after reading this review...

I called the number, spoke to the girl and asked for the menu. She told me she had a petite, 20yr old, blonde. When I arrived, I was greeted by an average looking girl, which led me to a bedroom. She left and a large girl, maybe 150lbs or so walked in. She was not petite at all.

...we obviously changed our mind. Not that we have anything against heavyset ladies! We do not. But we are only 4'5", so larger dates can lead to...complications.

Anyhooters, use this service to get exactly what you want today. And always play it safe! As Nancy Reagan was fond of reminding schoolchildren, Cover Your Lover!